loneliness

Almost two months ago, I made a list of things that I could do when I'm feeling lonely. I thought that there must be some use for that "energy". The list included things like volunteering, exercise, starting a new hobby, seeking God, and job shadowing.

During my break at work, I went into the TWU library and took out a book that some have recommended: Becoming Human by Jean Vanier. He founded l'Arche, "an international network of communities for people with intellectual disabilities." I found it interesting that the first few pages of his anthropological work is devoted to loneliness. Vanier writes that it is "essential to human nature, it can never actually go away...there is nothing in existence that can completely fulfill the needs of the human heart." Later, he goes on to say that loneliness can suck the meaning out of life. Conversely, it is a potential source of "creative energy".

Many of the world's greatest thinkers and artists experienced profound loneliness because they dared to go against the status quo of their time. I hardly would confess to be an artist or a thinker. I include myself among those who have allowed loneliness to throw themselves toward God in a desperate attempt to know and be known. For Vanier, this union with God, expressed in its extreme as mysticism, lends itself to love for God and for all fellow human beings.

Coupled with a reading in Tomas a Kempis' Imitation of Christ, which exhorts me to see more good in others than in myself (if, indeed, I do see any good in myself), I am encouraged to "judge not". I am encouraged to see beauty in others, even when it requires me to do a double take.

"It does no harm to esteem yourself less than anyone else, but it is very harmful to think yourself better than even one."

I have a couple of questions:

- Will our loneliness be quenched by God only in heaven?

- Is it harmful to esteem ourselves less than anyone else? Can this not lead to disavowing the gifts/talents that God has granted us?